Training / Advising

So, you’re HIV Positive.

Now what?

I remember the exact moment of being diagnosed – as we all do.

The moment when I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and the rush of disbelief overwhelmed me. When I couldn’t believe what was happening, and the nightmare began.

All those phases; The denial. Not wanting it to be true for days. For weeks. For months. For years. The horrific uncertainty, the fears and all that darkness that drowned me when those horrible words were spoken.

And the unfathomable loneliness that follows. That nobody else understands.

I remember the clog in my throat that stopped me from saying it out loud; “I am HIV Positive”.

I’ve been through all this. I’ve experienced it myself, because I too am HIV Positive.

But I’ve managed to make it out of the darkness alive. Well, ironically, happier than ever. Openly positive, smiling, loving, caring, partying. Surrounded by fun, love and sex.

You might not believe it right now, but there are ways. There is a path that will take you out of this constant circle of doubt over your decisions and the constant fear of being caught.

But its not an easy path. Quite the contrary. Its probably the most difficult road travelled, because it will confront you with yourself.

I’m curious about your story.

My Offer

I offer individualised help in this endeavour. Because your way will be different from mine. Different personalities, different backgrounds and histories need different approaches – but I can accompany you. Be a guide. Be the travel companion carrying the compass and the map – and I’ll teach you to read them. To show you ways to discover your own routes. But I’m not going to be easy on you.

I’m not a “Life Coach”. I’m not a “yes-man” to tell you what you want to hear — to give you validation for what you’ve endured. I won’t speak generic, broad statements that are life affirming and super-positive. Because they are empty.

For me, those approaches never worked. Quite the contrary – I found them insulting. And if those don’t work for you, then I might be the right person for you.

I want to offer exactly what I was missing after I was diagnosed. Offer the help that I longed for. That I would have needed.

I won’t treat you like a victim or a child – I will treat you with respect – but I will be strict and demanding.

I am aware that this approach isn’t for everyone. This will be a most challenging experience. It will help you redefine your priorities, be clear with the time you have and how you want to spend it.

I want to show you that you can control HIV – not that HIV controls you. To accept a symbiosis with this thing inside of you. To accept a new life. But also to say goodbye to the old.

Who is this aimed for?

Well – anyone can contact me and we arrange a first conversation, upon which I will send you a proposal. My trainings are individualised, and I rather give one person all my attention for a positive outlook and successful training.

Although I invite anyone to contact me, I will prioritise heterosexual women and men.

Current offers of peer-groups, self-help institutions or “buddy”-groups are predominantly homosexual. I want to expand an offer to heterosexual individuals.

Privacy Note:

I remember the fears of “being found out”, of having any connection to those horrible three letters. I was in the same position. Where even befriending someone HIV positive on Facebook would seem like I would be exposing myself, and people could find an association.

Naturally, everything we talk about will be handled with utmost sensitivity, on secure channels and will be treated with discretion.

Any notes I take in our conversations will be done on physical notepads, not on a computer, names will remain anonymous. Any reference to my work will be referred to as “Portrait Photography” (or any term you seem suitable).

A website for specifically these purposes is under construction.

Take the first step. Contact me on spiegelp82 @