Sex-Writer and hiv-activist
I had the great opportunity of speaking to the Terrence Higgins Trust and give a little bit of insight into my story and what its like being HIV Positive as a heterosexual male. About stigmas, toxic masculinity and of course, sex...
Little did I know, that a trip to Nepal would foreshadow a close encounter with HIV years before my infection...
For the Guardians "My Life in Sex Blog"
My mind was plunged into chaos - questioning everything. Every decision, every choice I had to make overwhelmed me. When working on portraits or on fashion shoots, I failed to direct. I couldn’t helm the situation. I couldn’t instruct people. My mind was in a frenzied mess – which was reflected in my lack of confidence. I doubted everything – especially my ability to make decisions.
Once again its world AIDS day. Once again the papers are full of interviews about HIV and stigmas and sex and drugs and all that usual stuff. And yet I realised that by hiding my face I have endorsed these stigmas. The only way to change things is to change things. So lets get to it.
It's my "annHIVersary". It has been 5 years that I was diagnosed with HIV. 5 long, dark, fun, exciting and challenging years that had given me insight into things I had never thought possible. Today I reflect - and notice how far I have come. I still can't believe that all of this happened. That I passed through this journey. This adventure. Damn. Maybe I should start considering a book..?
The long read - unpublished in the english version, and previously published on http://www.lvstprinzip.de in german.
The story of the transformative journey HIV had sent me on. From suffering a sexual trauma, to becoming an angry, incel-like creature... to the best of friendships and unforeseen revelations.
