After my HIV Diagnosis, my desire for exploring the world vanished for a while. I saw no beauty anymore. Not in landscapes, nor in people. I projected my depression, my dark void, onto everything and everyone around me. The world had nothing to offer, apart from my clouded perception. My mind was too occupied with survival, with figuring out what had happened. The shock of HIV left me paralysed.
The only way I could overcome this paralysis was to stop observing the world around me – and turn the camera on myself. I was forced to venture into the fantastical world of my mind and my own darkness – the inward journey. To do so, I created a pseudonym – I started working under the name of Philipp Spiegel.
Of all the places Ive seen, nothing is quite as fantastically beautiful and horrifying as the confrontation with the self. There is still a lot to explore in those dark and stormy canyons; and bit by bit I work on exhibitions where I dig out the travel-journals I collect on my ventures into my own mind. The darkness and the light.
While in my photography I observe the world around me, my art photography observes my self. I reflect over the experiences, the changes and the challenges that my HIV diagnosis gave me. This post and the exhibition list will be updated shortly…
Going Viral – Explaining HIV